Description

Oxtek You Can Trust Me Shirt

In the world of faceless conglomerates and vague tech startups, branding is everything. The Oxtek “You Can Trust Me” Ironic Tech Parody Shirt plays on the aesthetic of the modern “Evil Corp.” It features a clean, sterile logo for the fictional entity “Oxtek,” accompanied by the slogan “You Can Trust Me.” It is a statement that is inherently suspicious, evoking the vibe of dystopian sci-fi movies, shady biotech firms, or data-harvesting social media giants. It’s the perfect shirt for the tech worker who sees through the corporate jargon or the fan of subtle, dry humor.

To make the parody effective, it needs to look like legitimate company swag. We print this design on the Gildan Heavy Cotton tee, selected specifically for its ability to display clean typography. The smooth, tight knit of the 5.3 oz, 100% cotton fabric ensures that the sans-serif font and the logo graphic are rendered with sharp edges and solid opacity. It doesn’t look like a cheap knockoff; it looks like a shirt that was handed out at a mandatory HR seminar in 1999 or 2024. It is durable, comfortable, and eerily professional.

Why You’ll Love This Shirt

Ironic Humor: A subtle joke about corporate trustworthiness and branding.
Minimalist Aesthetic: Clean, simple design that fits the “tech bro” look.
Sharp Print: The fabric ensures “clean typography” that mimics official merchandise.

Perfect For

Tech Workers: A hilarious inside joke for programmers and IT staff.
Sci-Fi Fans: Vibes of Black Mirror, Severance, or Mr. Robot.
Streetwear Fans: Fits the trend of obscure corporate logo aesthetics.
Casual Wear: A conversation starter that confuses people in the best way.

Product Details

Material: 100% cotton (Gildan Heavy Cotton); 5.3 oz weight selected for a crisp, clean print surface.
Fit / Print: A standard unisex fit featuring Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for a professional, sharp finish.
Care Instructions: Machine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry on low. Do not iron the graphic.

FAQ – Oxtek You Can Trust Me Shirt

What is Oxtek? Oxtek is a fictional brand used on this oxtek you can trust me shirt to parody generic, slightly ominous technology corporations and their branding.

Is the text easy to read? Yes. We use the Gildan Heavy Cotton tee to ensure “clean typography,” giving the oxtek you can trust me shirt a professional, crisp look.

Is this shirt sarcastic? Heavily. The slogan “You Can Trust Me” on the oxtek you can trust me shirt is intended to be ironic, implying the exact opposite in a humorous way.

SIZE GUIDE

Classic Men's T-Shirt

The fabric composition varies by color: solid colors are 100% Cotton, Heather colors, Tweed, and Russet are a 50/50 Cotton/Polyester blend, and Sport Grey and Antique colors consist of 90% Cotton and 10% Polyester.

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
WIDTH (inches)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32
LENGTH (inches)	28	29	30	31	32	33	34	35

Premium Men's T-Shirt

Fabric blends: Heather colors – 90% cotton, 10% polyester. The classic fit along with the crew neckline provide a timeless style with neat looks that are perfect for accessorizing. This means it’s a highly versatile choice for both casual and semi-formal events.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
WIDTH (inches)	17.5	19	20.5	22	24	26	28	30
LENGTH (inches)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

Classic Women's T-Shirt

The fabric composition varies by color: solid colors are 100% Cotton, Heather colors, Tweed, and Russet are a 50/50 Cotton/Polyester blend, and Sport Grey and Antique colors consist of 90% Cotton and 10% Polyester.

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
WIDTH (inches)	17.25	19.25	21.25	23.25	25.25	27.25
LENGTH (inches)	25.5	26	27	28	28.5	29

Premium Women's T-Shirt

Material: 100% combed round-thread cotton (Dark Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester). Classic cotton t-shirt. Made from 100% combed round-thread cotton, this is an everyday essential with superior comfort.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL
WIDTH (inches)	15.25	16.25	17.25	18.25	19.75	21.25
LENGTH (inches)	25.5	26	27	28	28.5	29

Hooded & Crew Neck Sweatshirt

Made with 50% Cotton and 50% Polyester

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
WIDTH (inches)	20	22	24	26	28	30	32	34
LENGTH (inches)	26	27	28	29	30	31	33	34

Longsleeve Tee

Solid colors are made from 100% Cotton, while Heather colors and Ash feature an 85% Cotton and 15% Viscose blend.

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
WIDTH (inches)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32
LENGTH (inches)	28	29	30	31	32	33	34	35

Tank Top

Solid colors are 100% Cotton; Heather colors consist of 52% Cotton and 48% Polyester; Athletic Heather contains 90% Cotton and 10% Polyester; and Triblend colors are made from 50% Polyester, 25% Cotton, and 25% Rayon.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
WIDTH (inches)	16	18	20	22	24	26	28
LENGTH (inches)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33

Men's V-neck T-Shirt

Made with our soft ring spun cotton and cotton blends, Softstyle’s high stitch density fabric offers a smooth printing surface. Taped neck and shoulders for comfort and durability.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
WIDTH (inches)	16	18	20	22	24	26	28
LENGTH (inches)	26	27.5	28.75	29.75	30.75	32	33

Women's V-neck T-Shirt

Made from 100% American cotton and the most advanced soft cotton technology, this product has been improved to enhance the quality and comfort you can feel.

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
WIDTH (inches)	17.25	19.25	21.25	23.25	25.25	27.25
LENGTH (inches)	25.5	26	27	28	28.5	29

Youth T-Shirt

Made with 100% ringspun cotton, although the fiber content may differ for certain color options.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL
WIDTH (inches)	16	17	18	19	20
LENGTH (inches)	20.5	22	23.5	25	26.5

Youth Hooded & Sweatshirt

50/50 cotton/polyester, made with finer yarns and new MVS Air spinning technology, that improves the fabric by reducing pilling, enhancing durability and creating a smoother printing surface.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL
WIDTH (inches)	16	17	18	19	20
LENGTH (inches)	19.75	21.25	22.5	24	25.5

Shipping information

1. Order Processing Time

Order Handling: Orders are typically processed within 2–5 business days after successful payment.
Made-to-Order Production: Since many of our items are printed on demand, production may take a little longer during high-volume periods (e.g., holidays).
Orders placed on weekends or public holidays will be processed on the next business day.

2. Shipping Time Estimates

We ship worldwide. Estimated delivery times (after processing) are:

Region	Estimated Delivery Time
United States	5–10 business days
Canada	7–12 business days
United Kingdom	7–12 business days
Australia	7–14 business days
Europe	7–15 business days
Rest of World	10–20 business days

🕐 Note: Delivery times are estimates and may vary due to customs delays, carrier disruptions, or other unforeseen circumstances.

3. Shipping Rates

Shipping costs are calculated at checkout and vary depending on:

Shipping destination
Weight and quantity of items ordered
Current shipping carrier rates

We may offer free or discounted shipping promotions from time to time — be sure to check banners or newsletters for updates.