Description

Shithawks vs Colonizers Super Bowel 2026 Caricature Shirt

Prepare for the messiest game of the year. The “Shithawks vs. Colonizers” shirt is a multi-layered masterpiece of low-brow humor. On the surface, it looks like a commemorative championship tee for the 2026 big game. But look closer, and you’ll realize it’s a grotesque pun on the “Super Bowel.”

The teams? The “Shithawks” (flying high on the winds of chaos) facing off against the “Colonizers” (defending the digestive tract). It is a relentless barrage of scatological satire designed to offend the refined and delight the immature. The caricature style art typically features gross-out mascots battling for the porcelain trophy. It mocks the self-serious pageantry of professional football by reducing it to its absolute crudest elements.

Printed on a durable heavy cotton tee, this shirt is perfect for rowdy watch parties, bachelor weekends, or for that one friend who refuses to take sports seriously. It’s loud, it’s gross, and it’s undeniably memorable. Wear it to the bar and watch as people squint, read the text, and then either groan in disgust or buy you a beer.

Why You’ll Love This Shirt

The Ultimate Dad Joke: It’s a “Super Bowel” pun taken to its absolute logical extreme.
Double Entendre: The team names (“Shit” and “Colon”) fit perfectly into the digestive theme.
Shock Value: It parodies the look of official merch while being completely inappropriate.

Perfect For

Super Bowl watch parties (especially for the haters).
Fans of South Park or Trailer Park Boys style humor.
Bachelor parties and “guy trips.”
Anyone who loves a good poop joke.

Product Details

Material: 100% Heavy Cotton (absorbent and durable).
Fit & Print: Standard Unisex Fit with a gritty, caricature-style Direct-to-Garment (DTG) print.
Care Instructions: Machine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on the mascots.

FAQ – Shithawks vs Colonizers Super Bowel 2026 Caricature Shirt

Is this shirt offensive? Yes, highly. It is designed to be crude, satirical, and gross. If you are easily offended, this is not the shirt for you.

Is it related to real teams? No. While the names might sound vaguely like real franchises, they are parodies based on the “Super Bowel” (digestive) theme.

What is the “Super Bowel”? It is a pun on “Super Bowl,” changing the meaning from a football stadium to… well, a bowel movement. Hence the team names.

SIZE GUIDE

Classic Men's T-Shirt

The fabric composition varies by color: solid colors are 100% Cotton, Heather colors, Tweed, and Russet are a 50/50 Cotton/Polyester blend, and Sport Grey and Antique colors consist of 90% Cotton and 10% Polyester.

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
WIDTH (inches)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32
LENGTH (inches)	28	29	30	31	32	33	34	35

Premium Men's T-Shirt

Fabric blends: Heather colors – 90% cotton, 10% polyester. The classic fit along with the crew neckline provide a timeless style with neat looks that are perfect for accessorizing. This means it’s a highly versatile choice for both casual and semi-formal events.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
WIDTH (inches)	17.5	19	20.5	22	24	26	28	30
LENGTH (inches)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

Classic Women's T-Shirt

The fabric composition varies by color: solid colors are 100% Cotton, Heather colors, Tweed, and Russet are a 50/50 Cotton/Polyester blend, and Sport Grey and Antique colors consist of 90% Cotton and 10% Polyester.

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
WIDTH (inches)	17.25	19.25	21.25	23.25	25.25	27.25
LENGTH (inches)	25.5	26	27	28	28.5	29

Premium Women's T-Shirt

Material: 100% combed round-thread cotton (Dark Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester). Classic cotton t-shirt. Made from 100% combed round-thread cotton, this is an everyday essential with superior comfort.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL
WIDTH (inches)	15.25	16.25	17.25	18.25	19.75	21.25
LENGTH (inches)	25.5	26	27	28	28.5	29

Hooded & Crew Neck Sweatshirt

Made with 50% Cotton and 50% Polyester

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
WIDTH (inches)	20	22	24	26	28	30	32	34
LENGTH (inches)	26	27	28	29	30	31	33	34

Longsleeve Tee

Solid colors are made from 100% Cotton, while Heather colors and Ash feature an 85% Cotton and 15% Viscose blend.

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
WIDTH (inches)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32
LENGTH (inches)	28	29	30	31	32	33	34	35

Tank Top

Solid colors are 100% Cotton; Heather colors consist of 52% Cotton and 48% Polyester; Athletic Heather contains 90% Cotton and 10% Polyester; and Triblend colors are made from 50% Polyester, 25% Cotton, and 25% Rayon.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
WIDTH (inches)	16	18	20	22	24	26	28
LENGTH (inches)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33

Men's V-neck T-Shirt

Made with our soft ring spun cotton and cotton blends, Softstyle’s high stitch density fabric offers a smooth printing surface. Taped neck and shoulders for comfort and durability.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
WIDTH (inches)	16	18	20	22	24	26	28
LENGTH (inches)	26	27.5	28.75	29.75	30.75	32	33

Women's V-neck T-Shirt

Made from 100% American cotton and the most advanced soft cotton technology, this product has been improved to enhance the quality and comfort you can feel.

SIZE GUIDE	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
WIDTH (inches)	17.25	19.25	21.25	23.25	25.25	27.25
LENGTH (inches)	25.5	26	27	28	28.5	29

Youth T-Shirt

Made with 100% ringspun cotton, although the fiber content may differ for certain color options.

SIZE GUIDE	XS	S	M	L	XL
WIDTH (inches)	16	17	18	19	20
LENGTH (inches)	20.5	22	23.5	25	26.5

Youth Hooded & Sweatshirt

50/50 cotton/polyester, made with finer yarns and new MVS Air spinning technology, that improves the fabric by reducing pilling, enhancing durability and creating a smoother printing surface.