Mark Your Calendar: These Funny National Holidays Are Worth Celebrating

Mark Your Calendar: These Funny National Holidays Are Worth Celebrating

Life’s short, the world is weird, and honestly? You don’t need a serious reason to send a gift or wear a shirt that makes someone snort-laugh. There’s always something to celebrate, even if that something is National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day (it’s real, look it up). Luckily, the internet has blessed us with an entire calendar full of funny national holidays that are perfect excuses to send someone a random gift, brighten their day, or just make them say, “wait, what?”

To help you honor the weird, the absurd, and the zucchini-related, we’ve handpicked the most hilarious holidays of the year and matched them with Kingteeshop designs that are just as delightful. Because life’s too short not to take your houseplants for a walk.

National Blame Someone Else Day (First Friday the 13th of the Year)

National Blame Someone Else Day (First Friday the 13th of the Year)
National Blame Someone Else Day (First Friday the 13th of the Year)

Why yes, that was definitely Brad’s fault. Or Mercury’s. Or your astrology chart. Celebrate the fine art of finger-pointing with a shirt or accessory that says, “It wasn’t me,” even when it very much was. View collection: National Blame Someone Else Day T-shirt

National Procrastination Week (First two weeks of March; dates vary)

Why the National Procrastination Week T-shirt Is the Funniest Way to Embrace Your Flaws

The only holiday that’s fine with you celebrating it late. Or not at all. Honestly, the whole thing is pretty chill. Celebrate by putting something off, or better yet, by buying a shirt to wear when you eventually get around to doing that thing you swore you’d do last year. View collection: National Procrastination Week T-shirt

Talk Like Shakespeare Day (April 23)

Talk Like Shakespeare Day T-shirt
Talk Like Shakespeare Day T-shirt

Get thee to a Kingteeshop! On this hallowed day, we doth honor the bard by speakingeth only in dramatic metaphor and confusing iambic pentameter. Bonus points if you refer to your roommate as “a roguish hedge-born miscreant” and still somehow get them to do the dishes. View collection: Talk Like Shakespeare Day T-shirt

National Donut Day (First Friday of June)

National Donut Day T-shirt
National Donut Day T-shirt

Unlike other funny national holidays, this one is a gift in and of itself. An excuse to eat a donut—or three—and call it “participation.” Whether you’re into sprinkles, glaze, or those absurdly over-topped monstrosities, this day is for you and your inner child who never stood a chance against a pink box. View collection: National Donut Day T-shirt

Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day (December 8)

Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day T-shirt
Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day T-shirt

Burst into a coffee shop, demand to know who won the Martian elections, then pay for your latte in bottle caps. Today’s about full commitment to the bit. Bonus points for steampunk goggles and wild, unexplained warnings about the year 2037. View collection: Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day T-shirt

Bonus: National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day (January 22)

National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day T-shirt
National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day T-shirt

Yes, it’s a real holiday. No, we don’t know what your cat’s questions are. Maybe: Why do you insist on petting me when I’m clearly plotting your downfall? On this day, take a moment to look your feline overlord in the eye and explain yourself. You won’t be forgiven, but it’s polite to try. View collection: National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day T-shirt

There’s no wrong way to celebrate these delightfully strange holidays, except not celebrating them at all. So whether you’re buying a cat-themed shirt for National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day or gifting a time travel tee to your conspiracy-theorist uncle, just know: you’re doing your part.

Go forth. Be festive. Confuse your friends. And remember, there’s always an occasion to celebrate.

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