Dumpster Fire Response Team Leader Christmas Raccoon shirt

The annual office Secret Santa exchange is coming up, and honestly, the thought of another year of novelty socks or a gift card to a place I never go to fills me with a certain…weariness. But this year, it’s different because this year I’ve been assigned to the department that has adopted the most chaotic of all holidays: Christmas. And I am supposed to create a Dumpster Fire Response Team Leader Christmas Raccoon shirt. It feels like a lot. I mean, I love the holidays, I truly do. But this year I’m juggling decorating my apartment, the in-laws are visiting, my cat decided the Christmas tree is her personal jungle gym, and now a shirt design?! It’s enough to make anyone want to hide under the covers.

Okay, deep breaths. I need to make a shirt that actually people will wear, not just a gag gift. I envisioned a raccoon, maybe looking slightly frazzled, perhaps wearing a tiny Santa hat, surrounded by the flames of a dumpster fire. It’s gotta be a statement, something that screams “I’ve seen some things” but also “Merry Christmas!” I went online, searching for inspiration. Everything I found felt either too generic or too cliché. There were some really awful designs out there, honestly. I found myself scrolling for hours, my eyes glazing over.

The deadline is rapidly approaching. I need a design, pronto. A flash of inspiration struck me while I was driving back from the grocery store yesterday, battling the holiday traffic. I’m going to base it on our team’s actual response in the last massive office Christmas party two years ago. Remember how we all ended up staying to clean the mess that seemed to be created at the dumpster at the end of the evening? Now that’s the kind of relatable, shared experience I could work with. It was utter pandemonium. The aftermath was a disaster zone, honestly. I started sketching some ideas on a notepad while watching a truly terrible Christmas movie. The raccoon is the central figure, obviously, looking like he’s just woken up from a nap in a pile of half-eaten cookies and tinsel. His expression? Complete and utter resignation. Around him, the dumpster fire rages, but it’s not a scary fire. It’s a whimsical one, with little candy canes and Christmas lights mixed in with the flames. I made the raccoon’s tiny Santa hat a little crooked, and give him one mischievous glint in his eye.

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